


I Wish I Knew How To Quit You

by Stydiem



Category: Raven Cycle - Maggie Stiefvater
Genre: Drabble, M/M, after this ronan and adam get married and have lots and lots of babies, i just love them sue me, not very long i'm sorry, takes place right after Blue Lily Lily Blue
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-03-23
Updated: 2015-03-23
Packaged: 2018-03-19 07:13:37
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,394
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3601020
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Stydiem/pseuds/Stydiem
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>This is a little drabble I wrote about the love of my life, Ronan Lynch, and the love of his life, Adam Parrish. It's how I imagined their first time to be, and it's got a heavy influence from the scene in Brokeback Mountain (the movie about gay cowboys starring Heath Ledger and Jake Gyllenhaal) when Jack and Ennis finally do the do in a violent brawl in a tent in the middle of the night... Anyway, hope you enjoy!!! This is probably a one-shot since I didn't really plan to continue from here, I just had an urge to write this specific scene.</p>
            </blockquote>





	I Wish I Knew How To Quit You

Ronan and Adam made their way across the swathes of dark green fields, stepping gingerly across bogged down grass on their way to the barns. The ground squished with their every step, full of the rain that had been pelting Henrietta just an hour or so ago. Mist rose from the hills like steam from an oven, and an eerie silence, the one that often accompanies a storm, had settled over the land.

Neither boy said anything as Ronan wrenched open the door with one hand, gesturing for Adam to enter the barn with the other.

Adam did, stepping inside and glancing around at the clusters of sleeping cattle, their puffs of breath coming out in tiny clouds. He stopped to glance his finger tips across one of the cow’s faces, right between her closed eyes. She felt like velvet, but Adam shivered. From the cold or from the eerie silence, he wasn’t sure which.

Adam and Ronan had been spending every moment of their spare time together, working to help Gansey in his quest to find Glendower, and in their own quests to control the power that lived within each of them; two very different magics, but magic nonetheless.

“I’m going to try with a new one today. I dreamt it up just last night.” Ronan broke the silence, producing a thin black rod, pointed at both ends. He turned it back and forth, and Adam marveled in how it appeared both at once incredibly fragile and terrifyingly lethal.

“How does it work?” Adam asked, his eyes never leaving the dream object.

“Fuck if I know. Maybe I stab one of the cows with it.” He started towards one of the sleeping beasts, but stopped at the last second when Adam cried out.

“Not funny! You’re a horrible person!” Adam huffed.

Ronan grinned, but didn’t bother to reply. He disappeared behind a wooden post, and when he didn’t reappear for a couple of seconds, Adam stepped around a cow with small brown spots to see what the other boy was doing.

Ronan crouched, shaved head bent in concentration over his task. Adam could just make out one of the tendril’s of Ronan’s tattoo peeking out of the black shirt he wore. Adam swallowed, unsure why his mouth was suddenly very dry.

Ronan jabbed the black stick into the ground rather violently and jumped up, crying out an “Aha!”.

Nothing happened, and the two boys looked at each other. Ronan looked like he had just woken up and would very much like to go back to sleep. Adam looked like he was very tired too, but more in the sense that he looked like he had just spent 48 hours working to pay the bills, which very well might have been the case.

The two different types of weariness fit each boy remarkably well; Ronan did things because he wanted to. Adam did them because he had to.

Finally, Ronan said what they had both been thinking. “This is a god damn bitch of an unsatisfactory situation.”

"I agree, but we can’t stop now.” Adam replied.

“Why not? These cows are never going to wake up! I have to accept it and move on!” Ronan groaned, sliding down the wooden pillar and coming to rest on the floor, his head in his hands. Adam covertly studied the hands Ronan possessed, all long and delicate and full of scars, both old and new, courtesy of his pet bird, Chainsaw. ‘Love pecks’, he called them.

“We can’t stop, Ronan! We have to do this! We were chosen by Cabeswater!”

Ronan narrowed his eyes. “ _You_ were chosen by Cabeswater. Cabeswater just likes _me_. Thinks I’m a cool guy. _You’re_ the one that had to do this.” And there he was, the Ronan Lynch everyone knew and loved to hate. The Ronan Lynch that had disappeared the last few weeks, at least whenever he was with Adam. But here he was again, rearing his ugly, shaved head. Adam could not say he had missed this side of his friend.

“Don’t be like that, Ronan. You and I both know you’re just as involved with this as me. Get off your ass.” Adam retorted, a hint of ice edging his voice.

“No.”

“Damnit, Ronan! Just because you _don’t want to_ doesn’t mean you can _not do it_. You have to do it.” Adam took a pause, and anyone who knew Adam at all could tell he was beginning to get wound up. And since Ronan knew him perhaps better than anyone, he knew Adam was going to explode any second, raining down bits of debilitating acid on anyone who dared step into his wrath.

“Just because you grew up in a house where everything was presented to you on a silver platter, doesn’t mean you get to take the easy way out when things in _real life_ \- outside of your perfect little world-“ Adam gestured around the barn “Don’t work out exactly how you want them to. Just because your dad could _dream up_ anything you wanted-“ Adam hadn’t raised his voice, not yet, but he might has well have. Bringing up Ronan’s father quickly set the other boy off, and soon Ronan was on his feet, all fury and edges and a cruel curl to his lip.

“Don’t speak to me that way, Parrish. You and I both know that the only reason you’re saying these things is because you wish you had all of this.” He gestured around the barn too, but he wasn’t referring to their current location. He was referring to how well off you had to be to be able to afford to live in their current location.

The problem with the two boys knowing one another so well was that each knew exactly what to say to set the other off. Adam was the first to throw a punch. Ronan dodged, and then they were grappling, heaving breaths and quiet snarling sounds filling the air. They kicked up dirt as the went at it, all wild eyes and sprawling limbs.

They struggled for purchase on one another, and then Ronan had Adam pinned against the wood, his fist bunched in his shirt and his breath hot in his face.

Adam grit his teeth and tried to loosen Ronan’s grip, but Ronan forced Adam’s back further into the pillar.

Then their mouths were battling because Ronan had kissed Adam with a sudden lack of self control, and then Adam was grunting and cursing and saying “What the fuck” and pushing Ronan off of him, and then Adam had Ronan pinned to the ground, and he was taking off his black shirt and tracing his fingertips down the tattoo etched on the other boy’s back, and then they were fighting again and Ronan was wedging his knee between Adam’s thighs, spreading them apart, and his weight was on top of him and Adam pulled off his own shirt, and Ronan struggled with his belt, and then Adam suddenly surged up and flipped Ronan so that he was fully underneath him, his body weight pressing the boy into the ground.

Adam yanked at Ronan’s jeans so that they rested at his knees and before either of them had registered what was happening Adam spit into his hand and he was inside of Ronan and Ronan could feel tears in his eyes as his face was pressed into the dirt, partly from the pain and partly because this was the one thing he had always wanted.

The two boys grunted as Adam rutted into him, and then their movement ceased, and Ronan rolled onto his back and looked into Adam’s eyes and neither said a word as their mouths finally came crashing together in a real, catastrophic kiss, mouths dancing and tongues groping and hands roaming up sides.

There they were, light and dark, two opposites in perfect harmony. And then Adam was back inside of Ronan but this time it was more gentle and stroking, less brutal and animalistic. They were making love, not fucking.

Adam finally collapsed on top of Ronan, kissing his neck one last time before shutting his eyes. Ronan laid there, eyes half open, absently stroking the hair at the back of the other boy’s head. He was in heaven, he was in love. And he feverishly hoped that Adam was too.


End file.
